If I'm not in love with you
by Beadi07
Summary: The past hurts. So let it go. But what if you let go and the past comes rushing back turning everything upside down, bringing memories you tried to shut out. What if Kate met Castle when her Mom was still alive and she was a pre-law student at Stanford? But he is Castle, and he screws up. Caskett fic. Read and review!
1. Chapter 1

Hey, guys! This is my first Caskett fic. I heard the song "If I'm not in love with you" by Faith Hill and the idea for this story just popped up. I have written only the first chapter, but I guess the fic will go on for at least 4 or 5 chapters, and I hope you like it! Review, please, so that I know whether I should keep writing or not :)

I don't own any of the characters mentioned.

_Kate Beckett is 19, she studies pre-law at Stanford, her mom is still alive, she had just broken up with her boyfriend who just couldn't keep his hands off other girls and the last thing she needed right now was falling for a playboy writer._

_Richard Castle is a writer, he is 27 and lives his life to the full and is not really a one-woman man until he meets a certain young stubborn student who steals his heart. But he is Richard Castle after all so he cannot but screw everything up._

**Here it goes...**

"No, Linda, I don't wanna go to this party, I'm serious! I'm tired of always being responsible for you and your doing crazy things while drunk! Moreover, I don't even know the host, neither do you, the only thing you said was that he is some famous writer, that's it. I'm not going!"

"Kaaaaaate, pleeeeease! Our friends are going and I promise I won't drink. Much."

"Heard that before and each time I have to drag you back to our apartment half-conscious."

This conversation went on for a few more minutes and finally Kate gave in. She couldn't stand Linda's whining anymore and she knew that if she didn't go she would have to listen for a whole week to accusations like "You ruined my life! That was one heck of a party! But you know what? I didn't go! Because of you!". Kate huffed and went to her room to straighten up.

_Later that night…_

The party was off the hook, even Kate admitted it but still she was bored and tired. She had her share of "go-to-all-the-parties-get-drunk-and-dance-on-the-bar-counter" as a freshman, now she was more mature, more serious, and didn't get excited about doing stupid things while drunk. This particular party was extremely lavish, everything about the house, the food and drinks just screamed "I'm loaded!" Some of her friends were there too, but only few of them, and there were so many people she didn't know, and she could tell they were also too rich, too egocentric, just like the owner of the house.

Surprisingly, Linda seemed to be keeping her word and really tried to stay away from the spirits, so Kate relaxed but she was still bored. Some lushy guys tried hitting on her, but were only met by an icy glare shot by Kate and immediately backed off. Even under the influence of alcohol the guys sensed the strength and strong will of the girl and realized she was not to be messed up with. Kate just stood there leaning against the wall, watching the guests and lost in her thoughts about the upcoming exams when another guy approached her with a dashing smile on his face.

"Hey!"

Kate rolled her eyes and turned to face the guy and was stunned, and had to do her best trying not to show it. He was taller than her even given that she wore high heels and he was really handsome, especially his baby blue eyes that seemed to captivate and warm you. Kate kept all these thought out of her mind and just studied him for a few moments and there was something about this guy that didn't let her treat him like other guys tonight so she flashed him a faint smile.

"Hey."

"I'm Rick." He seemed pleased that she decided to talk to him, because he saw her turn down a bunch of guys before him.

"Kate."

"So, Kate, do you like the party?" He emphasized her name and she couldn't help but notice how soft it sounded when pronounced by him.

"Umm, yeah, it's cool."

"You don't sound convincing. You look bored."

"You're observant. Yeah, ok, I'm bored. A little. It's just…" She paused.

"What?"

"It's just that parties are not really my thing…anymore. And here are so many, you know, rich people who enjoy showing off their money, like the host of the party, and I don't feel comfortable around them."

"Do you know the host?"

"No, I only know that he's some famous writer, but I haven't met him. And I don't really want to. But I don't need to know him personally to say that he must have come into a snag of money after writing probably one novel and the way he flashes the cash proves that it didn't take him much to get the money so he is throwing it away on such meaningless stuff like these parties, big lavish mansions, sports cars and so on."

"Hm…and what's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. I just don't get this kind of attitude. There are much more important things in life than spending it like this and I'm sure he throws parties every week if not every couple of days. But I guess he's just a really lonely person, you know, like most rich people, you have money, yeah, but you cannot buy friendship, love, and truth with it. So he just tries to fill that hole surrounding himself by all these people he doesn't even care about, tries to feel himself the centre of attention so as not to be so lonely."

"Wow. A great insight into my life." Rick chuckled.

"Wh..What?! YOUR life?" Kate was dumbfounded. "You are…"

"Richard Castle, mystery novelist and the host of the party, nice to meet you."

"Oh…well, this is awkward. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said what I said."

"No, don't be! It's nice to hear the opinion of someone who doesn't want anything from you - money, a role in the film, stuff like that. And I'm not offended. Well, just a little." Rick smiled at blushing Kate.

"Anyway, I had no right. Again, I'm sorry."

"Oh, forget it. Besides, you were mostly right. But…I am still a bit hurt, and I will only forgive you if you agree to go to dinner with me. Now." He beamed at Kate and she pursed her lips though everything inside her fluttered at the proposal.

"Oh, so that's your way of picking up a girl. This really works?"

"Yeah, it usually does. Will it work now?"

"Well…ok, I will go out with you, BUT only because I feel guilty and I'll go crazy if I stay here for another half an hour."

"Yeah, riiiight." Castle winked at her and tried to grab her hand but she jerked it back and headed for the front door without looking at him. He smirked and followed Kate.

When they came to the garage, Kate was not really surprised to see expensive sports cars there – Ferrari, Lamborghini, Alfa Romeo and a BMW.

"Of course…" She mumbled.

"So, what car do you choose?"

"I don't know. BMW? At least it's not that flaunty."

"Ok. That's my favorite by the way. Get in. I know a nice place, you gonna like it."

"I doubt it."

"Hey! Have a little faith in me."

20 minutes later they stopped by a little restaurant. Unlike what Kate had thought, it was not one of the places where you have to book a table 4 months in advance. Rick was pleased to see her reaction when they entered, it was definitely not what she expected.

"Richard! Long time no see! How are you?" A manager approached them.

"Hey, Dan! Yeah, long time. How's Meggy?"

"She's doing fine, and I'm going to be a Daddy soon."

"Wow, congratulations! Boy or girl?"

"Girl. How's Alexis by the way?"

"Growing up, you know. She's almost 4."

"Time flies. Oh, how rude of me! Who is that beautiful lady with you?"

"It's Kate…"

"Beckett."Kate added.

"Nice to meet you, Miss Beckett. I'm Dan, an old friend of Rick."

"You too."

"I will show you to your table and be back in 5 minutes." Rick and Kate sat down and Dan brought them the menu. When they ordered, Kate couldn't help asking.

"Rick, who's Alexis?"

"She's my daughter, my little princess." Kate was in awe. Rick was a father?

"And her mother…?" Why would she ask that? She was not interested in him and in his relationships, was she?

"Well…she's with Alexis now, in Barcelona, but she doesn't live with us, she just comes by a few times a year to take Alexis on vacation."

"Oh…it must be hard on Alexis."

"Not really, she loves that Meredith never says "no" to her, she's little now and can be easily bribed. But I think when she grows up she will understand that this is not what mothers are supposed to do."

"And how are you coping with all that?"

"At first the thought of becoming a father scared the hell out of me, but now I cannot imagine my life without Alexis. You know, it's extraordinary how someone can love you this much unconditionally, inexplicably. You come home after a hard day, all stressed out, depressed and this little creature runs to you crying out "Daddy!" and all the troubles fade away. I think no woman will ever love me as much as my daughter does."

"That's different. The way a kid loves and the way a woman does."

"I know, but I haven't met a woman who could just love _me _and not Richard Castle."

"Maybe you just haven't met the right woman." _Where did that come from? Do I mean myself by "the right woman"?_ Kate thought and blushed slightly catching Rick's enquiring gaze.

"Maybe…" He trailed off without taking his eyes off her. "Did anyone tell you that you have wonderful eyes?"

"Yes, I've been told so. But thank you." _What? He's flirting with me?_

"So, tell me something about yourself."

Three hours later they were still sitting in the restaurant having completely lost track of time. For the first time in his life Castle was talking to a girl without thinking about getting her into bed. She fascinated him, she was different from all the women he knew in so many ways, he felt like he has known her for years and yet didn't know her at all. She was a mystery – although she told him a lot about herself, about her studies, parents and past, these were simply facts, while she artfully dodged questions about her dreams, her feelings, her thoughts. With every passing minute he felt more and more drawn to this girl, not in the physical way, well, partly in physical way, but he also wanted to spend more time with her, get to know her, open up to her and get through her walls.

Suddenly Kate stopped talking and listened to the radio playing in the restaurant. A song started playing – "Hello" by Lionel Richie.

"I love that song!" Kate exclaimed. Castle watched her getting lost in the music of one of the greatest love songs ever.

"Do you want to dance?" He asked a few moments later. Kate looked at him in surprise and gave a glance around the room.

"But no one is dancing."

"So what? Actually as far as I see there is nobody else in here."

"Oh…it's almost 4 a.m…"

"Really? Well then, how about one dance and then I'll drive you home?" He stood up and held his hand out to her.

"Ok, why not."

She took his hand and immediately felt his other hand on her waist pulling her close, way too close to him. Kate softly placed her hand on his shoulder and they started swaying to the rhythm of the music. She stared into his eyes and couldn't look away, he mesmerized her, and all of a sudden she felt an urge to kiss him. She leaned in but just an inch away from his lips she shifted her head so that she was no longer facing him and gave a sigh of relief. But now she could feel his breath on her ear and it was even worse. Even in her wildest dreams she had never thought that just a touch, just a look could make her knees go weak and her head spin. "What the hell is wrong with me? I've only known him for a few hours, then why does he have such an effect on me? He is a playboy, he is rich, he is a father, for heaven's sake! Guys like him go out with models, actresses, someone from his social circle, and not girls like me. It's so unreal. It's wrong to fall for him. But then why does it feel so right to be in his arms now? Damn, what have I got myself into?"

Soon they heard the last words of the song "Tell me how to win your heart, for I haven't got a clue. But let me start by saying...I love you..." and Kate unwillingly pulled away.

"We should get going." She said, trying not to look him in the eyes.

"Yeah, let's go." Rick settled the bill and apologized to Dan for keeping him up for so long.

The drive to Kate's apartment was mostly silent, because both Kate and Rick were carried away by their thoughts, which revolved around each other. Upon arriving to the building, Kate was about to get out of the car, but Rick stopped her.

"Kate, wait. Look, I had a great time tonight and I don't know what is happening or what can come out of it, but I DO know that I really want to see you again." Kate's breath hitched. _Oh, no._

"What…are you saying?" She asked in a faltering voice.

"Would you like to go on a date with me?" All this time he was looking at her with his eyes filled with hope and something tender and this was too much for Kate, she couldn't resist such a look and gave in.

"Um…yeah, I'd love to."

"Great! I'll pick you up at 5 p.m., is that OK for you?"

"Perfect."

"Okay, then, see you tomorrow." Castle leaned in and kissed her cheek, letting his lips linger on her soft skin longer than necessary, and even though it was only a brush of his lips, it sent a jolt of electricity through her body.

"See you tomorrow."

Kate finally left the car and held her breath until she was in her room. Only then was she able to start breathing normally again. She could still feel his lips on her cheek, his hands on her waist, his breath on her ear and neck. "Oh my gosh, what is this man doing to me?" was the thought running through her head when she fell asleep. Little did she know that Richard was falling asleep with a similar thought on his mind.

**What do you think? Love it or hate it? Should I continue? Let me know! :) :) :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**_I hope this chapter was worth waiting for. Read, enjoy and review. :) :) :)_**

Kate couldn't recall the last time she was so nervous before a date. Usually she was not the type to spend hours choosing what to wear, doing the hair, putting on make up, but now it was exactly what she was doing. None of her dresses seemed to be good enough, she couldn't do her hair the way she wanted to, the purse didn't match the shoes… After a few hours of this torture Kate gave a frustrated sigh and crashed on the bed right on the hip of clothes.

"Why do I even care about that nonsense? Do I really want to impress him? Oh, who am I kidding, of course I want to impress him! But it's not like I can show him something he hasn't seen before." Finally she decided on a lightgreen flared summer dress, matching high-heeled open toe shoes and a simple white fancy-bag. She applied a little make up and let her luxurious locks cascade down wildly around her shoulders.

At 5 p.m. Rick was already waiting in his car without taking his eyes off the front door. When after what seemed like an eternity Kate at last appeared Castle's jaw literally dropped. Of course last night he noticed she was dazzlingly beautiful, with her killer cheekbones and mesmerizing green eyes, but now in the light of day, when the sunrays were dancing in her hair, she seemed to have leapt from the pages of a fairy-tale. Coming round, he rushed to meet her.

"Hey!" He greeted her with a beaming smile and kissed her on the cheek. "Wow, you look…" He couldn't find the right word to describe how she looked.

"What? Richard Castle is for once at a loss for words?" She teased.

"Touche! Um, these are for you." Rick gave her a bunch of red roses. "I know roses are a cliché, but I still think they are the most beautiful flowers ever."

"I also think so. Thank you." Now she kissed him on the cheek making him smile sweetly. It felt so natural to do so, like she's been doing it for a long time. "Look, I don't want the roses to wither, so do you want to come in for a minute, I'll just put them in a vase."

"Yeah, sure."

While Kate was searching for a vase, Castle had a chance to take a look around the apartment. It was nice but what caught his eye was a wall lined with dozens of photos. There were lots of photos of Kate with her parents (she looked very much like her mother), with some friends, and there was one photo with a guy that draw Rick's attention. He could tell that he was not just a friend and suddenly he felt a pang of jealousy.

"Rick, what are you looking at?"

"The photos. Can I ask you something?" He said frowning slightly, and Kate felt worried.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Who's this?" He pointed to the photo of Kate snuggling to a guy.

"Oh, this shouldn't be here anymore." She took the photo, tore it to pieces and threw them into a trash can. Rick gave her a questioning look. "It's Derek, we broke up not long ago. Let's go."

"Why?"

"Because we have a date, silly." Kate was confused by his question.

"No, I mean why did you two break up?"

"He cheated on me. Simple as that." Kate said nonchalantly and they both headed for the car.

"What a fool! How could he cheat on a girl like you?" Kate couldn't help smiling at his words.

"Well, apparently he could. But I actually never understood that whole cheating thing."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean why would anyone cheat? It makes absolutely no sense. If you are dating someone then why would you cheat, lie, hurt the other? If you don't like something about your lover, then why not talk, discuss it, find a compromise, or simply break up? If you need something else, okay, it happens, then just find the courage to end this relationship. And if you really like the person you're dating, it makes even less sense if you cheat. I just don't get it." Kate sighed.

"Are you okay?" Rick was genuinely worried that she was hurt by that Derek and was still getting over him.

"Yeah. It's not like he broke my heart and I cried myself to sleep every night after we broke up." She smiled. "He was smart and sexy, he was a sportsman and I liked him, I really did, but still that wasn't enough."

"Oh, I see. And why wasn't it enough?" Now Rick was curious.

"Well, one day I just realized that Derek doesn't make me feel the way I want to, that we are not going to have the relationship I want. You know, my whole life I've been watching my parents, how much they love each other. Even after 20 years of marriage they still haven't lost that loving feeling and I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's true. I will never forget how 3 months ago I decided to surprise them and flew to NY for the weekend without telling them. I opened the door of our apartment and heard Celine Dion's "Because you loved me" and when I came to the living room I saw my parents there. They were dancing. DANCING to a love song! I wish someday I would find a man who can love me just as much as my Dad loves my Mom and I will love him even more. Oh, I must have bored you with this nonsense."

"No, not at all. In fact, I understand you. You know, I believe in Santa, in Yeti, in supernatural." Kate gave him an incredulous look. "Yes, I do. And I try real hard to believe that love exists. But so far no woman ever made me feel it."

"Oh, come on! You are not actually comparing love and Santa!"

"Why cannot I?"

"Because! Rick, you've got to be kidding me!"

"No, I'm not kidding. I do believe in Santa! And in love."

"What are you – five?" Kate was laughing.

"Ha-ha! Laugh as you might, I won't change my opinion." He said stubbornly in a childish tone that made Kate laugh even more.

Castle parked his car on the street and Kate realized they were near the Golden Gate Park.

"The weather is perfect for a picnic." Castle said as if reading her mind.

Being a gentleman he quickly opened the door of the car for Kate, grabbed the hamper from the backseat and, taking Kate by the hand led her into the park. They spent a couple of hours in the park talking and laughing. Kate secretly hoped that he would kiss her then, especially when they were lying on the grass so close to each other that their hands accidentally brushed. She couldn't help imagining how his lips would feel on hers, since only his touch sent shivers down her spine. But he didn't kiss her, not even on the cheek, and she felt a little disappointed. "Maybe he's not even interested in me in that way…" she thought.

Later when Kate was about to get into the car he stopped her.

"Wait, the date's not over yet." He winked and took her by the hand again pulling her towards the nearest street. When they stopped to wait for the green light to cross the street Kate turned to face Castle and asked. "Rick, where are we…" but she didn't get a chance to finish the sentence because suddenly she felt being pulled towards him by his arm on her waist and his other hand on the back of her neck and before she knew it his lips were on hers. For a split second she was taken aback but an instant later her body reacted before her mind could process what was happening. She locked her arms behind his neck and kissed him back meeting his tenderness. She was melting into him and there was nothing she could do to stop the world from spinning faster and faster with each passing second. His lips felt so soft and loving against hers, he kept moving them ever so slowly, it was not a French kiss, but still Kate felt as though a thousand butterflies were just set free in the pit of her stomach. This sudden feeling hit her so hard that she had to grip Rick's shoulders to steady herself causing him to pull her even closer. If there was a kiss that could be described as toe-curling, breathtaking and sensual, this was it. They missed the green light and didn't care at all. After what seemed like an hour they pulled away to catch their breath but the second Rick met Kate's glimmering green eyes and her swollen lips, he couldn't help drawing her in for another kiss, a deep and passionate one. Once again the world stopped, only his arms, his lips and his tongue existed for Kate, suddenly there was a desperate need for his kisses and she couldn't get enough of him. Her heart was racing wildly and she could barely breathe but didn't want his lips to leave hers even for a split second. They just stood there at the crossroads, lost in each other's arms and kisses, totally forgetting about the world around them. Finally they broke the kiss and all Rick was able to say was "Wow". Kate blushed deeply and gasped out "Yeah…"

They headed for a nice small cafe where they spent a few hours just talking and joking. Rick never took his hand off Kate's waist so they sat there in each other's arms, every now and then Rick would place gentle kisses on her cheeks and hands making her breath hitch. Later on they went for a walk along the picturesque streets of San Francisco until the night fell on the city.

"I should probably drive you home, it's getting late." He said with a note of disappointment – he didn't want this night to end, in fact, he didn't want to be away from her even for a few hours.

"Yes, we better go. I have to go to work tomorrow morning."

Half an hour later the car stopped by Kate's apartment building.

"You know what? I realized that I don't have your phone number." Rick chuckled.

"Oh, right. Here it is." Kate wrote it on a piece of paper and handed it over to Rick.

"Cool. So, when does your shift end tomorrow?" He leaned a little closer to her.

"At 8 p.m. Why?"

"I want to see you again. What do you think if I pick you up after your shift?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Great! See you tomorrow then" Rick closed the distance between them and kissed Kate tenderly, running his hand through her hair making Kate shiver at the touch. This kiss had the effect on her as the previous two had…

"Until tomorrow." She said with a sweet smile and exited the car but she had hardly made two steps before Castle ran up to her and wound his arm around her waist.

"What are you…" She was surprised, to say the least.

"I want to walk you to the door." He winked. "To make sure you get home safe".

"You are unbelievable!" She laughed but was touched by this display of affection.

Once at the front door Castle leaned in and Kate closed her eyes in anticipation of another toe-curling kiss but instead he just pecked her on the cheek. All the disappointment of the world must have been written on her face because Rick laughed out loud and Kate huffed in irritation and smacked him on the chest.

"You are …" but before she could finish the sentence his lips were on hers and all the insults vanished from her mind.

"I am what?" He asked pulling away with a smirk.

"Ohhhh, you are horrible!" She said seriously but failed to hide a smile.

"But you like that about me, don't you?"

"In your dreams!"

"My dreams do come true!"

"See you tomorrow, Castle!" Kate said rolling her eyes and disappearing behind the door, leaving Rick standing there with a goofy smile on his face.

Closing the door behind her, Kate leaned against it and took a deep breath. Her heart was still racing wildly after the kiss and just the memory of it made her pulse quicken. "What the hell is going on with me?" No man ever had such an effect on her, and it was only the second time she saw him. Deep inside Kate knew that she was falling for him. Too quickly and too hard. But she wouldn't admit it even to herself.

She turned on the radio, put on her yoga pants and hoodie, removed the make-up and was about to crash on the couch to relax when her phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey!" Kate recognized the voice immediately.

"Rick? Is everything okay?"

"Totally fine, why?"

"Well, I thought I saw you outside my apartment like 10 minutes ago."

"I know. I just…no, this sounds silly."

"What exactly?"

"Um…I already miss you." Kate drew in a sharp breath. "And I'm still in the car in front of your building. But I know that if I see you right now I won't be able to leave again."

"It's not…silly." She considered what she was going to say next. "And you better go, cause if you come here now I won't find the strength to tell you to leave." There was a moment of silence between them, both were grasping the true meaning of their words.

"Okay. See you tomorrow, my lady."

"See you." Kate hung up and a few minutes later she realized she was still standing with the phone in her hand and the biggest smile on her face. Shaking her head at the situation she finally sat on the couch deep in her thoughts. "What am I doing? He is older and he has a daughter! But why cannot I resist him? I knew it yesterday, but now after his kisses it is impossible to stay away. Did he feel the same way today? What if he didn't? What if I'm just another girl for him? He is intoxicating. Why would someone like him be interested in a girl like me? He can have any woman he wants. Why me? It's so messed up. I just met him. Why do feel the way I do every time he touches me, he kisses me? I'm not in l…no, it's crazy. You cannot just spend a few hours with a man and fall in love. It's real life, not a movie. I cannot be in love. I'm just attracted to him. He's smart and good-looking and he constantly tries my patience and oooooh he's a great kisser. No, I'm not in love…but…no, no "but's"! This is stupid." Kate punched one of the couch cushions in frustration. Her head started throbbing because of these disturbing thoughts and she was about to turn off the radio and turn in when she involuntarily heard the lyrics of the song that was on.

…_Why else do I want you like I do_

_If I'm not in love with you_

"You got to be kidding me! Seriously?!" Kate huffed but couldn't bring herself to turn off the radio.

_And if I don't need your touch_

_Why do I miss you so much, tonight_

_If it's just infatuation_

_Why is my heart aching_

_To hold you forever_

_Give a part of me I thought I'd never_

_Give again to someone I could lose_

_If I'm not in love with you_

_Oh why in every fantasy_

_Do I feel your arms embracing me_

_Like lovers lost in sweet desire_

_And why in dreams do I surrender_

_Like a little baby_

_How do I explain this feeling_

_Someone tell me_

As if the lyrics were written about her. Kate could relate to every word and it certainly wasn't helping considering her uncertainty about Rick.

_If I'm not in love with you_

_What is this I'm going through, tonight_

_And if this heart is lying then_

_What should I believe in_

_Why do I go crazy_

_Every time I think about you baby_

_Why else do I want you like I do_

_If I'm not in love with you_

Another song started playing and Kate just stood there trying to put a finger on her confusing feelings. Some minutes later she finally headed for her bedroom and the second her head hit the pillow she fell into a deep sleep and the last thought in her head was "I'm not…in love with him".

_**Like it? Love it? Hate it? Any suggestions?**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Here's the next chapter, guys. I guess there will be at least 5 more chapters, but I haven't even started writing them, and I really hope my muse doesn't leave me until I finish this fic. :) **_

_**Hope you like it! Read and review! :)**_

The next day Kate was flaking out after the work day and all she could think about was a hot bath and her soft bed, but seeing Castle leaning against the car outside the cafe with his "prince charming" smile distracted her thoughts.

"Hey." He reached out and pulled her in for a tender kiss that only made Kate want more, so much more than just a kiss. "How was your day?"

"Well, you know, uneventful. It's Sunday, we had a lot of visitors as usual, all day on the move. I'm a little tired."

"Oh, come on, you must be exhausted. Let's find a quiet place to eat." He opened the door for her but before she got in he kissed her again taking her by surprise. Once they both were in the car Castle reached to the backseat for a bunch of beautiful white and red roses and gave it to Kate.

"Whoa. Thank you." She smiled sweetly and pecked him on the lips. "But you do realize that if you keep bringing flowers to every date I will soon run out of vases to put them into?"

"No problem, I will buy you more vases" He chuckled and started the engine.

They settled in a pleasant restaurant and ordered. While they were waiting for the food Castle couldn't help touching and kissing her – every now and then he would tuck a lock of hair behind her ear, or he would start placing soft kisses on the back of her palm, each time making her heart flutter. Suddenly all her thoughts and feelings made sense – she had fallen in love with him. Deeply. She could try to deny it but it was useless considering the way her heart and body reacted when he was around. And it didn't matter that she knew him for just three days. When Castle looked up and met her gaze, she was sure her feelings for him were clearly written all over her face. His breath hitched in his throat upon seeing the look in her eyes. No woman had ever looked at him like this and even though he couldn't quite decipher what it meant he was sure he had the same look in his eyes. On impulse he pressed his lips to hers, trying to convey all the unsaid between them. Once again they got lost in each other and were only brought back to reality when the waitress cleared her throat and placed the food and drinks on the table. The couple shared an amused look and turned to eating.

When they finished the food a comfortable silence settled between them.

"Kate?"

"Hmm?" She felt secure and sleepy in the warmth of his arms but turned her head to face him.

"Can I ask you something?" He seemed serious, which was so unlike him.

"Even if I say "no" you will still ask, right?"

"Right." He grinned.

"Well, then…"

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Kate's heart skipped a beat and she leaned back to take a better look at him, as if not believing her ears.

"Wh…what?" She managed to get out.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" He said more confidently. Kate's mind was screaming "Yes!" but no words came out of her mouth. She opened and closed her mouth several times, gasping for air, but it didn't help. "Kate, what's wrong?" Castle's light-hearted attitude was replaced by a concerned one.

"I…just…" She desperately tried to explain how she felt and what was bothering her, but failed. And he was asking her to be just his girlfriend, not a wife!

"Kate, please, tell me what's wrong. You don't want to date me?"

"No!" She gasped, but seeing his crestfallen expression she immediately realized what he thought she meant by this "no". "W…wait. I didn't mean "no". I want to date you, I do. But…" She didn't know how to continue.

"But what?" He was confused.

"But I…don't know. I'm not…it's weird. You are rich, famous and I'm just a…girl. You go out with models, actresses, someone from your class, and your reputation shows it, and yet here you are, asking me to date you. I like you. A lot. But I don't want to be one of your…" She averted her gaze, unable to finish the sentence and say that she didn't want to be one of his "toys" that he used and threw away.

"Wow. I had no idea you feel that way. Kate, please, look at me." He softly tilted her chin up with his hand. "Look. I know what you must be thinking. "He is this rich playboy, who sleeps with every pretty woman and forgets her name in the morning" And you are partly right. I did sleep with a lot of women, BUT I never lied to any of them. All these models, bimbos and others, they knew what they were up to. I never promised anything to them, they knew it would be just a one-night stand or an affair. They didn't mean anything to me, and yes, I only wanted to get them into bed. However, with you it's…different. It's not just a fling, just an infatuation. Kate, I don't know how to describe this, but I know that I don't want to lose you like that. I cannot promise you that we will be together till death do us apart, I don't know what the future holds for us, but for now I do know that you are not like other women I was with. You are not to be treated like one of them. You deserve a man who will care for you, cherish and love you, who will lay the world at your feet. And I sure as hell want to try to be that man. I want to give us a chance, I'm all in. The question is – do YOU want this, US?" He was speaking without taking his eyes off hers and watched in awe how so many emotions flashed there – uncertainty, hurt, shame, anticipation, disbelief, relief and finally all of them were replaced by that one particular emotion that he couldn't name but that took his breath away earlier.

"Yes." She said hesitantly, but as soon as this word left her lips she felt a load taken off her mind. "Yes! Yes, I want this, I want us." The last words were muffled by his lips on hers and Kate could feel that he was smiling into the kiss. It seemed so right to be in his arms, to kiss him, to be HIS girl. She couldn't say why, but she believed him, she trusted him; every second thought, every doubt apart all she wanted for now was this feeling, these stupid butterflies, Castle's arms around her and his lips on hers.

Later that evening they couldn't keep their hands and lips off each other. They were like two teenagers who just experienced their first kiss and couldn't get enough. Castle walked Kate home and once they were at her front door he locked his lips with hers for the nth time that day. She felt her back being pressed against the smooth surface of the door, and Castle's hands caressing her disheveled hair, setting her soft skin on fire. She wanted him so badly right now, none of her ex-boyfriends ever made her feel that way. She knew: just a few more seconds and she would lose all control over her body and mind. Suddenly Castle broke the kiss and took a step back.

"I should go, before…" He didn't finish because he saw that Kate totally understood what he felt now and what he meant. "See you tomorrow." He breathed out, kissed her softly on the lips and quickly left.

Kate took a few deep breaths, calming her quickened pulse. "I need a cold shower. Right now." She entered the apartment and hastily went to the bathroom. The cold water seemed to cool her off. "Wow, the things that man does to me. Still he left, even though he could have taken me there and then. He cares for me that much that he wants to take things slow? Oh. And I thought I was just another chick for him…"

The next week passed in a whirlwind – classes, work and dates with Castle. Kate met with him every evening and he was always available whenever she had a break or a free period, she would call him and he would come. Sometimes she spent the night at his place – they watched a movie and she could fall asleep in his arms and the next morning she woke up in the guest bedroom to the smell of coffee. Oh, she loved his coffee, it was so delicious and special. And she loved the sight of Castle fussing around the kitchen making them breakfast. Who could have thought that a man like him liked cooking. Kate felt comfortable with him, he didn't pressure her into doing anything and he was waiting patiently till she decided she wanted to take the next step in their relationship.

Kate's best friends Linda and Maddie noticed that she was drifting apart, she never told them where she was going and where she spent the nights. They thought she had got back together with Derek and that's why she was so secretive. But when they told Kate about their assumption, she just brushed it off. "Girls, are you nuts? I got back together with Derek? What a crazy thought! I am dating someone, but I cannot tell you yet, ok?"

Kate was happy in a way she couldn't describe. It was like she had found something to live for, to get up every morning and to dream about. Castle was so patient and tender and romantic and considerate and was everything she looked for in a man. Still there was a voice at the back of her mind that kept saying "they" wouldn't last, that something would happen and she would end up brokenhearted. But she pushed all these thoughts back and just lived in the moment and in that moment she was happy and the reason for her happiness was Castle.

A few days later Linda went on a tour for a week with her new boyfriend and his band and Kate decided to invite Castle over and make dinner for him. No matter how much she loved his cooking, she was a woman after all and could also surprise him with her favorite meal – paella with seafood. It took her a while to prepare it but the thought of Castle's reaction made up for the effort.

He came later that day with a bottle of white wine and a bunch of dark pink roses.

"Hey!" He smiled and kissed Kate. "What's that smell?"

"Wait and you'll see." She winked at him and went to put the wine in the fridge. "Sit down and close your eyes." She motioned to the kitchen and once he did as asked she put the paella on the table. "Okay, you can look now."

"Wow. That's…You made this?" Castle was utterly surprised and Kate couldn't but feel proud of herself.

"Yeah, why? You thought you were the only one who can cook?"

"Whoa! I'm loving it!" His remark brought a biggest grin to her face.

The paella and two bottles of wine disappeared in a blink of an eye. Castle helped Kate clean up the kitchen and load the dishes into the dishwasher and the couple went to the living room.

"I thought we could watch a movie and I bought some popcorn." Kate put a pack of popcorn into the microwave.

"Great idea. What movie?"

"I was thinking "A Perfect Murder" with Gwyneth Paltrow and Michael Douglas."

"Okay. Actually I've heard about that movie but never got the chance to watch it."

Kate put the popcorn in a bowl, placed the VHS cassette in the player and settled on the couch by Castle's side. His arms immediately snaked around her waist, pulling her closer as he placed a soft kiss on her temple, causing Kate to smile contently and snuggle closer to him.

When the film ended, they discussed it for a while before Castle got up and said: "I should go, it's late and you're probably tired." He barely made 4 steps before Kate stopped him and stood in front of him.

"Castle, wait."

"Huh?"

"Stay for the night." She bit her lower lip nervously. Suddenly she felt like a schoolgirl asking a boy to walk her home.

"Okay…I guess I will be quite comfortable here on the couch. Do you have an extra pillow and a blanket?" For a second Kate was confused – Did he really miss what she meant? – but the smirk on his face told her that he was just messing with her and decided to play along.

"Yeah, I think I can find a pillow for you. A blanket, however, not so sure." She took a step closer to him. "However, I am pretty sure you will be more comfortable in my bed…" Kate started tracing circles on his chest with her index finger.

"Hmm…tempting, isn't it?" He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer so that she could no longer tease him.

"Castle?"

"What?"

"Stop talking and kiss me."

"As you wish, my princess." Saying that, Rick kissed her. It started out as a tender and slow kiss, but rather quickly turned into a heated one. Castle picked Kate up bridal style making her giggle and brought her to the bedroom. There he put her down and moved his hands to the top button of her blouse but stopped abruptly and broke the kiss. Kate opened her eyes disappointedly.

"Kate, are you sure? I mean we don't…"

Before he could finish she pressed her lips to hers and mumbled against his lips. "Absolutely…"

The second this word left her mouth his hands were all over her body, grazing her neck and jaw, electrifying every nerve. His lips barely left hers, but when they did, they travelled down her neck and then they were back on hers. His hands started undoing the buttons of her shirt and then slid it down her arms until it fell to the floor. Kate tried to pull his polo up but her hands were trembling a bit and Castle swiftly took it off himself. The feel of his bare skin against hers was overwhelming, she gripped his shoulders and deepened the kiss. A few moments later her capris and his jeans joined the blouse and polo on the floor. No matter how much Castle wanted her, he had to control himself, to make her enjoy every second of this, to take it slow. He picked her up once again and she wrapped her legs around his hips in a desperate need to feel him as close as possible. He slowly placed her on the bed never breaking the kiss. He unclasped her simple black bra and it threw it over his shoulder. Kate gasped and bit her lip when he kissed his way down her neck until he reached the sensitive spot just below her ear and started sucking on it. Then he turned his attention to her perfectly shaped breasts, swirling his tongue around her nipple and massaging her other breast with his hand, making Kate moan under his touch. An instant later he pressed his lips to hers, kissing her fervently and sliding his hand down her toned stomach until it reached the brink of her panties. He slowly pulled them down her slender legs and traced his way along the inside of her thigh up to the hot spot between her legs. Feeling how wet she was almost made him lose his head but he composed himself and slipped two fingers inside her, curling them to touch the right spots, causing her to squirm underneath him. Her breathing became sporadic and she was moaning into the never-ending kiss. Kate sighed loudly when he pulled his fingers out but the next second he entered her throwing his boxers to the heap of clothing. She forgot how to breathe for a few moments adjusting to his size and then he began moving slowly inside her quenching her desire with every thrust of his hips. She screamed out his name and tightened around him and with a few more thrusts he also came. Castle rolled off her and pulled her close to face her. Kate never thought that making love could feel like this. She felt being pulled into a dizzying dream, and the way he whispered her name was enough to send her over the edge. He began peppering soft kisses on her cheeks, eyebrows and lips and this simple gesture made her want him. Again. Even though they were still breathing heavily, it didn't stop them from turning the soft kiss into a passionate one and then into round two. And then into round three.

The next morning Kate woke up minutes before the alarm clock went off. Feeling Castle's strong arms wrapped tightly around her and his breath on the back of her neck she smiled happily and snuggled up to him, realizing that last night was not a dream. Moving slowly so as not to wake him up she turned off the alarm and tried to get up, but suddenly his arms tightened around her and he said in a sleepy and husky voice. "Hey, where are you going?"

Smiling widely, she turned in his arms and caressed his cheek.

"Hey. I have classes in an hour and a half…"

"Oh, no. Screw the classes. I want to spend the whole day with you. Please?" He looked at Kate with puppy-dog eyes.

"You know…yeah, okay, screw the classes. I'm all yours today."

"Yay!" He looked like a 5-year-old kid who was given a lot of candy. "Did you say "all mine"?"

"Yes, I did."

"I like how that sounds." He kissed her and pulled her closer before the couple drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.

**What do you think? Let me know! :)**


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